The start of another blog no one cares about

That’s right, kids, blogs aren’t just for angst ridden teenagers and bored, bitter cube monkeys, they’re for me too, so come join me as we celebrate the magic that is Breaking Down Bryan through a generic copy-and-paste blog format I found one day while looking for porn.

Since you asked (or maybe you didn’t–I don’t really care), I’ll introduce myself. I’m Bryan, I’m 24, and I live in a cramped apartment with my dumb little dog. I work at one of the country’s biggest voting industries doing a job a monkey could do blindfolded, alongside coworkers that might actually face fierce competition if the aforementioned blind primates found employment here. I don’t really make friends because of it, because everyone seems to think my sole purpose is to break into and rig my own machines and find a way for George Bush to be reelected a third time. “The polls are in, and George W. Bush took an overwhelming 66% of the votes over Obama and McCain. Frankly, I’m not sure how this is even possible, but let’s go down live to George W. who’s snorting cocaine out of the navel of a hooker. George?”

I have a degree in IT but you won’t find me discussing the newest computer with it’s flux capacitor pentathlon processor, because I don’t care. Star Wars vs Star Trek? I don’t care about either of them; I’d rather be under the hood of my car or working out in the gym. I’d also rather spend time with a woman (a real one, not a digital rendering of one) than play 8 hours of World of Warcraft. Yes, that’s right, I’m like the jock of the IT world… how does that work out? Is that even possible?

I’m not without my dorkiness, however. I write novels…good ones (I hope), that I’m trying to get picked up by an agent. It’s a satirical fantasy story where the queen’s a pirate, the hero’s a smartass, and legends are greatly exaggerated. I sing, a lot. Like not just in the shower. I absolutely kill at the karaoke bar and it feeds my dwindling ego. I play a Nintendo Wii because it takes the slight nerdy edge off of playing video games by introducing physical interaction. I collect Mr. T action figures that I keep in the shrink wrap so they don’t depreciate in value. Okay, that last one was a lie. I just wanted to see if you were still paying attention or drifting off.

So if for some reason you haven’t drifted off, stick around, get inside my head for a bit, and leave me a comment. I don’t bite, I just write scathingly passive aggressive e-mails. So there.